Being true to yourself is revitalizing, just as trying too hard can be draining.
The phrase “mental health” gets floated around a lot, but what to do about it. “Are you ok?” is often asked of the person that looks down, but all too often this exchange results in an empty affirmation and is just to reassure the person asking. The truth is we need to lean into this a bit more for actionable pathways to help people.
Well, what makes us feel “low”? I feel it comes largely from being drained or emptied. So, how does this happen? When we pressure ourselves to be something we’re not, we end up gasping for emotional air, so to speak. How about a couple examples:
Sarah, the Overextended People-Pleaser:
Sarah is a naturally reserved and practical person who enjoys structure and problem-solving. However, she constantly agrees to social obligations and tries to be overly outgoing to fit in with her extroverted friends. After days of forced social interactions, Sarah feels mentally exhausted and depleted because she’s ignoring her true preferences for alone time and quiet reflection. Sarah’s battery is empty and she needs to recharge with quiet and alone time. Knowing this is key. Also, Sarah needs to moderate how much social expression is expected of her, just as much as how much she volunteers herself in such situations. She’s trained her friends to expect this time and time again, and that’s why she’s been stuck in a rut and feeling so tired and sometimes even sad for reasons she didn’t understand.
Mark, the Reluctant Leader:
Mark is naturally empathetic and supportive, thriving in cooperative environments. However, at work, he’s pushed into a high-pressure leadership role that requires him to make tough decisions and lead aggressively. Though he does his best to adapt, Mark feels emotionally drained and disconnected from himself because the role goes against his authentic, collaborative nature. He struggles with stress and burnout as a result. Mark needs to know there’s a hole in the bucket and he’ll not feel full without make a change. Having someone to partner with him in making all these decisions would be a great solution for Mark. His heart is in it because of the people he’s able to serve, but the sheer task of decision making and stern leadership is off putting to his core preferences and aversions.
But what can you really do? (lots!)
The Authentic Behavior Contrast (ABContrast) model is the key to unlocking lasting mental health and a deep sense of well-being. It’s not just about knowing yourself—it’s about aligning with your true preferences and avoiding what drains you. When you engage in behaviors that match your authentic likes, you operate in a state of natural flow, boosting your energy and effectiveness. On the other hand, constantly engaging in behaviors that go against your authentic self—your dislikes—leads to exhaustion and burnout.
By understanding where you thrive and where you falter, the ABContrast helps you “stay in your lane,” focusing on actions that support your natural strengths. This reduces stress and promotes a healthy, balanced life. It’s about living in harmony with who you are, not who you think you should be. This personalized approach to behavior allows you to manage your energy more efficiently, protect your mental health, and experience genuine fulfillment in both your personal and professional life.
The ABContrast model doesn’t just offer a one-size-fits-all solution but gives you the tools to understand how to navigate life authentically, making it the ideal path toward mental well-being and long-term happiness. Want more of our “why”? Click here.