Why You Feel Unseen and Unappreciated, and How to Change It

In the Authentic Behavior Contrast, each of the four directions (Forward, Reserved, Practical, Interpersonal) and the five main H.E.A.D.S. types (Harmonic, Empathic, Autocratic, Dynamic, Static) manifest behaviors that are uniquely beneficial but often go unappreciated by others, especially those with opposing tendencies. In this blog, we’ll explore how these natural behaviors serve a purpose within individuals and communities, yet they can be easily overlooked or misunderstood.

Forward (Action-Oriented) – Misunderstood Boldness

Forward individuals are always pushing for progress, action, and decision-making. Their drive to keep moving, setting goals, and accomplishing tasks can appear aggressive or overbearing to those with a more Reserved or Interpersonal nature. However, the boldness of Forward types, particularly the Autocratic and Dynamic types, is essential for ensuring that ideas are implemented and projects advance. Without them, many initiatives would stall indefinitely, caught in endless deliberation or relational concerns.

What’s often taken for granted: Their ability to push through hesitation and make tough calls, even when it feels uncomfortable. People often don’t recognize how this forward momentum benefits the whole team, especially when there’s resistance or fear of change.

Reserved (Reflective) – Overlooked Steadiness

Reserved individuals, such as those of the Empathic and Static types, bring a stabilizing force to their environment. They are often the ones to listen deeply, think carefully, and provide the space for others to be heard. While their stillness can be misinterpreted as indecision or passivity by Forward types, it’s actually a powerful means of ensuring that everyone’s voice is considered and that decisions are well-thought-out.

What’s often taken for granted: Their patience and thoughtfulness can be seen as lack of urgency or assertiveness, but in reality, Reserved individuals are safeguarding the long-term stability and health of a project or relationship by not rushing into decisions.

Practical (Results-Oriented) – Unappreciated Efficiency

Practical types, including those aligned with the Static and Autocratic types, naturally gravitate towards what’s measurable, achievable, and effective. They cut through fluff to focus on what needs to be done and often work tirelessly behind the scenes to ensure that goals are met. However, their results-driven focus can feel cold or overly focused on material outcomes to Interpersonal or Empathic types, who prioritize emotional connection and relational harmony.

What’s often taken for granted: Their ability to execute and create tangible results. They may not make a lot of noise about their contributions, but without their careful structuring and execution, many creative or relational initiatives wouldn’t be sustainable.

Interpersonal (People-Oriented) – Undervalued Connection

Interpersonal individuals, especially those of the Dynamic and Empathic types, thrive on building relationships, fostering collaboration, and ensuring that everyone feels included. While their efforts to bring people together and create harmony are crucial, Practical and Forward types may see this focus on relationships as a distraction from ‘real’ progress or productivity.

What’s often taken for granted: Their ability to maintain group cohesion and morale. Their work may not always be immediately visible in tangible results, but the long-term benefits of having a united, cooperative team are invaluable. Without Interpersonal efforts, teams can fracture under stress or miscommunication.

Harmonic (Balanced) – Misunderstood Neutrality

Harmonic individuals exist in a delicate balance of all directions, which allows them to see multiple perspectives. Their focus is on maintaining equilibrium, acting only when necessary to prevent larger disruptions. This neutrality is often misunderstood by others as indecisiveness or lack of passion. Forward types may find them too cautious, while Reserved or Interpersonal types might expect more relational involvement.

What’s often taken for granted: Their ability to keep the peace and prevent extremes from taking over. Harmonic types are quietly working to ensure that no one direction dominates to the detriment of the others, which is essential for sustainable growth.

Taking Each Other for Granted

In teams or relationships, people tend to take others for granted when they don’t fully recognize the value of behaviors that differ from their own. Forward types may think others are holding them back, while Reserved types may feel rushed by Forward behaviors. Practical types might dismiss Interpersonal efforts as ‘soft’ work, and Interpersonal types might feel that Practical individuals lack emotional intelligence. Harmonic types, who try to balance it all, are often the most misunderstood, seen as not committed enough to any one direction.

What To Do: Recognizing the Unseen

Each direction and type has inherent strengths that contribute to the greater whole, but these strengths often go unseen or unappreciated by those with different biases. By using the language of ABContrast, we can bring awareness to these overlooked contributions and foster a greater sense of appreciation for what each person brings to the table.

Let’s start valuing the steady patience of the Reserved, the bold decisiveness of the Forward, the quiet efficiency of the Practical, the relational warmth of the Interpersonal, and the balanced wisdom of the Harmonic. It’s these diverse behaviors, when recognized and appreciated, that create the most authentic and effective teams and relationships.

---